4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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