Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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