Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
you had me at cake vodka
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
