the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize