that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
