writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I love having hate sex.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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