She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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