How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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