he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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