the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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