Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
