Christians are straight up FREAKS
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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