**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
