You really coming over, don't trick.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
