i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
