I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
