so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
