bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
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