its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
