I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
