I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Are my feet made of real feet?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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