I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
