I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
