he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
