if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
