I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
