I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
