that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
