I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
