I want to make a zoo with you.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
