Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If I die, sorry about rent.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
