You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
