Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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