I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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