Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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