I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
