Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
