making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
