He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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