hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
