You don't have asthma, your pregnant
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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