and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
