It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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