I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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