Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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