Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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