YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
