Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
