wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
