Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
