He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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