butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
