Do vagina's smell?
she smelled like a LAN party
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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