Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
