I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
