I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
They should really pass out barf bags in church
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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