Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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