Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
