why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
