Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
