Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
