I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Houston, we have a blender
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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