It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
