My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize