I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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